How
is your day going? Mine began before I even opened my eyes.
The following is the mess that is dumped in a person’s lap when they are having to seek legal custodianship of a parent. Not that I feel burdened with my mother. Far from it. I am privileged to be able to help her. The burden comes in the form of the stress her particular situation has left me in.
I received a call last night from a concerned family member about my mother’s mental state. This is nothing new because I receive more phone calls about my mother than about anything else going on in my life.
But every phone call leads to a phone tree of conversations. So in my sleep last night I mentally wrote a list of all parties involved and whom needed to be aware of what is going on.
Call Brother and Sister
Call Aunt
Call Cousin
Call Apt. complex
Call Nursing Home
Call Doctor
Call her atty.
Call my atty.
etc.
So I sent two text messages last night and followed up again this morning to my brother and sister.
Then I called my mom's apartment complex they were closed and I had to call back to get a few questions answered about my mother's situation.
Then I called the nursing home and left a message for them to call me back.
Then I called my cousin to let her know I would be in town and what was going on.
My sister called during that phone call so I then called her back.
Then I called the nursing home again and they said they would have the manager call me back.
Then I called my mother’s atty. hoping that it might possibly be likely she could still set up a Trust. (Doubtful but hoping) He has to call me back because he is in court.
Then I called mom's doctor’s office to see if I could get her an appointment so she could sign the papers saying her doctor can speak to me. (The person I spoke to was less than helpful.)
Then I called back my Aunt who called while I was on with the doctor’s office and we coordinated for Monday.
While we were on the phone the nursing home called back so I returned their call. They had not gotten anything from the doctor’s office which led to another call to the doctor’s office.
So then I called the doctor’s office and got a different person and she was willing to make an appointment and get back with the nursing home.
Then I called my attorney and set up another apt.
Then the nursing home called me back.
Then I called the doctor’s office.
Then I called my Aunt.
All of this before noon. All in all, including phone tag, a total of 21 phone attempts and 15 conversations.
What outcome does this leave me with? The forecast is uncertain.
1 doctor’s appointment that mom and I will have with my Aunt
1 insurance agent appointment
Plans to visit the bank - cancel checks and debit card
Plans to have me added to all her account including bills
Plans to visit the nursing home
Me picking up a letter from her apartment manager
1 appointment for me with my attorney and possibly one for her with her own.
And a whole lot of, Is any of this going to end with her in the nursing home next week and what's next?
How would it be different if she had given me Power of Attorney? I would call her doctor; we sit down with my mother and we would tell her it is time to go to the nursing home. We would then take time to gather what she wants to take with her; make arrangements and then she would be admitted.
As it stands now. I am going to have to force her to go in and no one is going be happy with that. I wish I could say that days like this are few; but lately I am having days like this a couple of times a week.
So once each of these items have been checked off they will be followed by an if/then flow chart. No matter what though, it all will end in me suing for custodianship because it is just too late for her to legally sign over her rights. That will be the worse day of my life. The day my mother gets served with papers. Everything inside of me would like to not have to be there. But the daughter in me; the one that loves my mother knows, I have to be there. I have to be there to explain and to cry with her and to tell her I am sorry I am having to do this. I just hope she knows somewhere inside I am doing it out of love and nothing more.
The following is the mess that is dumped in a person’s lap when they are having to seek legal custodianship of a parent. Not that I feel burdened with my mother. Far from it. I am privileged to be able to help her. The burden comes in the form of the stress her particular situation has left me in.
I received a call last night from a concerned family member about my mother’s mental state. This is nothing new because I receive more phone calls about my mother than about anything else going on in my life.
But every phone call leads to a phone tree of conversations. So in my sleep last night I mentally wrote a list of all parties involved and whom needed to be aware of what is going on.
Call Brother and Sister
Call Aunt
Call Cousin
Call Apt. complex
Call Nursing Home
Call Doctor
Call her atty.
Call my atty.
etc.
So I sent two text messages last night and followed up again this morning to my brother and sister.
Then I called my mom's apartment complex they were closed and I had to call back to get a few questions answered about my mother's situation.
Then I called the nursing home and left a message for them to call me back.
Then I called my cousin to let her know I would be in town and what was going on.
My sister called during that phone call so I then called her back.
Then I called the nursing home again and they said they would have the manager call me back.
Then I called my mother’s atty. hoping that it might possibly be likely she could still set up a Trust. (Doubtful but hoping) He has to call me back because he is in court.
Then I called mom's doctor’s office to see if I could get her an appointment so she could sign the papers saying her doctor can speak to me. (The person I spoke to was less than helpful.)
Then I called back my Aunt who called while I was on with the doctor’s office and we coordinated for Monday.
While we were on the phone the nursing home called back so I returned their call. They had not gotten anything from the doctor’s office which led to another call to the doctor’s office.
So then I called the doctor’s office and got a different person and she was willing to make an appointment and get back with the nursing home.
Then I called my attorney and set up another apt.
Then the nursing home called me back.
Then I called the doctor’s office.
Then I called my Aunt.
All of this before noon. All in all, including phone tag, a total of 21 phone attempts and 15 conversations.
What outcome does this leave me with? The forecast is uncertain.
1 doctor’s appointment that mom and I will have with my Aunt
1 insurance agent appointment
Plans to visit the bank - cancel checks and debit card
Plans to have me added to all her account including bills
Plans to visit the nursing home
Me picking up a letter from her apartment manager
1 appointment for me with my attorney and possibly one for her with her own.
And a whole lot of, Is any of this going to end with her in the nursing home next week and what's next?
How would it be different if she had given me Power of Attorney? I would call her doctor; we sit down with my mother and we would tell her it is time to go to the nursing home. We would then take time to gather what she wants to take with her; make arrangements and then she would be admitted.
As it stands now. I am going to have to force her to go in and no one is going be happy with that. I wish I could say that days like this are few; but lately I am having days like this a couple of times a week.
So once each of these items have been checked off they will be followed by an if/then flow chart. No matter what though, it all will end in me suing for custodianship because it is just too late for her to legally sign over her rights. That will be the worse day of my life. The day my mother gets served with papers. Everything inside of me would like to not have to be there. But the daughter in me; the one that loves my mother knows, I have to be there. I have to be there to explain and to cry with her and to tell her I am sorry I am having to do this. I just hope she knows somewhere inside I am doing it out of love and nothing more.
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