Exploding Worms

  This  is a post that somehow never got posted...

I had noticed years ago that my mother was having problems with her memory. I of course began trying to coax her into making some choices.

My least favorite phrase quickly became; "What do you plan to do about your mother?"  Her sisters called regularly with concern.  They asked me to call her doctor who refused to speak to me without my mother present.  My mother refused to allow me to attend her appointments. My hands were tied.

I tried to get her to see an attorney about a Will or a Power of Attorney.  She assured me she had and the attorney had everything that was needed. I eventually decided to call him and check.  It turned out the last Will he had written for our family was for my father whom passed in 91' and it was in the form of a Trust.  He said even if he had written one for my mother he does not keep copies older than three years. She would need to come in and start new papers.

No matter what I said to encourage my mother it did not help. She saw me as the enemy and began to accuse me of the oddest things. Stealing her car insurance, wanting to take her money, stealing her TV. Hiding things from her.

It was not long before she would agree to take care of things then either conveniently or on purpose, forget to follow through. I never was sure which.

Next came the anger and the begging. She would tell her friends and family not to tell me what was going on with her. She would say the most hurtful things and tell me I was being mean to her. Me a person who even when I was screaming on the inside never raised my voice to her.

She would refuse to allow me to have contact with anyone that might  reach out to me. She shut me out and I admit after a while, I let her.

I became angry and hurt, she would ask anyone but me for help. But I was thankful for those willing to aide my mother.  I thought surely if it gets bad these people will insist she do something about it. Or, they would contact me.

Well, my mother is stubborn and can be full of pride. Few phone calls came.  Her own doctor told me that he never had to go through a legal custody to have a patient moved to a home and he usually did not recommend one enter a care home unless they had a wreck or set a fire in the kitchen.   But he would never tell me for sure what was going on with her nor would he help me, help her.

I'm still muddling my way through this mess and if I find a way, I'll share it.

So far it is taking cousins and Aunts and siblings to manage my mom to a point that we are finally making some headway.

But legally it is too late. I have no choice but to seek a guardianship. And that is a can of worms with a bomb inside I do not look forward to setting off.

Come back tomorrow for more tells of Delaying Twilight.